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The Official Employment Interview Questions of The Bone Conduction Music Show:
Where's the
The Official Pin Up Girl of The Bone Conduction Music Show:
Betty Page
The Official Tattoo of The Bone Conduction Music Show:
Dig it, dig it deep...
The Official Drink of The Bone Conduction Music Show:
Alka Seltzer
The Official Magicians of The Bone Conduction Music Show:
Siegfried and Roy
The Official Psychic of The Bone Conduction Music Show: Dionne Warwick
The Official Second Runner Up Psychic of The Bone Conduction Music Show:
Shirley MacLaine
The Official Blacksmith of The Bone Conduction Music Show:
Ron Bishop
The Official Parrot of The Bone Conduction Music Show:
Mickey
The Official Clown of The Bone Conduction Music Show:
Spaghetti
The Official Molecular Biologist of The Bone Conduction Music Show:
Jan Berry
The Official Position on Dwarf Tossing of The Bone Conduction Music Show:
We take none, use your own judgement.
The Official Submission Hold of The Bone Conduction Music Show:
The Carotid Restraint
The Official Disciplinarian of The Bone Conduction Music Show:
Mistress Bambi, The Leather Nun.
The Official Bartenders of The Bone Conduction Music Show:
There are just too many to list here, but Mr. Vacation and Kenn instantly spring to mind.
REMEMBER, always tip your waitress and bartender--they are the most
important people in your life.
The Official Cocktail Waitress of The Bone Conduction Music Show:
Diane Greener.
The Official All-Purpose, Fits All Situations Excuse of The Bone Conduction Music Show:
We're Far Too Busy Drinking Beer and Watching Television To Get To That Now.
The Official Cab Driver of The Bone Conduction Music Show:
Again, there are just too many to mention in every city across this great country of
ours, but in The People's Republic of Ann Arbor, it's Lance Long.
REMEMBER, ladies, Lance's cab is ribbed for your pleasure.
The Official Minister Without Portfolio of The Bone Conduction Music Show:
Mr. Bad.
The Official Goal of The Bone Conduction Music Show:
World Domination.
The Official Most Pivotal Educational Experience of The Bone Conduction
Music Show:
Lunch With
Soupy.
The Official Most Unforgivable, Heinous Act Ever Perpetrated On the Public
at Large of The Bone Conduction Music Show:
The Killing of Bambi's Mother.
I never got over that and probably never will.
The Official Med-Evac Service of The Bone Conduction Music Show:
Medflight Gill and Flight Nurse Betty.
When you're out cold on the highway, passed out next to a burning tanker with shards of glass sticking out of your forehead, these are the people you want lifting your butt off to the hospital in The Helicopter of Love.
The Official Advice to Anyone Stupid Enough to Want to Get Into Show
Business (Courtesy of the great
George Burns)
of The Bone Conduction Music Show:
Never Leave Your Wallet in the Dressing Room.
The Official Pick Up Line of The Bone Conduction Music Show:
Excuse me, may I buy you a car?
The Official One Undeniable Truth (Courtesy of
Woody Allen
and empirical evidence collected under strict laboratory conditions) of
The Bone Conduction Music Show:
If Sex Isn't Dirty, You Aren't Doing It Right.
Remember, we care, and we can help!
beer
and what time do we get paid?
The Official Exercise Program of The Bone Conduction Music Show:
The Shakes. If it wasn't for the shakes, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.
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